


How Did It End Up Like This (It was only a kiss)

by Magpie_Crow



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), I don't know, Kissing, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, This is weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpie_Crow/pseuds/Magpie_Crow
Summary: Patton is in love with Logan, but Logan seems to be dating his ex again. What happens when Patton's best friend Remus offers to help?Kissing, that's what.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 11
Kudos: 105





	How Did It End Up Like This (It was only a kiss)

**Author's Note:**

> This story went through six permutations while I was writing it. I have no clue what happened here.

Virgil Moor was Logan’s ex. Everybody and their dog knew it, and _almost_ everybody knew _why_. Logan had caught Virgil making out with Dee Grace, on multiple occasions. 

So why, in the name of puppies, did Patton just see Logan and Virgil practically glued at the lips in the movie theater? 

It’s not like Patton had any right to judge the two of them. Sure, he had a massive, colossal, _gargantuan_ (see, he knew big words) crush on Logan Berry, but that didn’t give him any say over who Logan kissed. He was jealous, sure, and curious to boot, but those were understandable considering the circumstances. 

“I just don’t _get_ it, Ro! They broke up!” 

His best friend, Roman Knight, was nodding along perfunctorily (big word!), as he stared across the lunchroom at one Remy Starr. Patton’s other best friend, Remus Knight, was listening to him with the usual intensity Remus devoted to Patton. 

“What do you think, Ree?”

“I think I can punch him for you!”

Patton laughed, and Remus grinned back. “No, thank you Remus. Violence is never the answer.” 

“I think I’m going to go talk to him.” Roman stood up suddenly, brushing off his skirt and checking his make-up in a small compact. “Sweep him off his feet, even!”

“You do that, kiddo.” Patton was a little disappointed that his best-dating-advice friend hadn’t been listening at all, but he supposed Roman deserved to get some ‘him time’. And smooches. 

He slumped in his seat, and Remus put a comforting arm around his shoulder. “I just don’t know what to do, Remus!”

“You could….. Find someone else to kiss! In front of him! See if it makes _him_ jealous!”

“Idunno, Ree, who would I even-“

“Me! You could kiss me! Fake dating style!” Remus shot up in his seat, practically vibrating with excitement. “We’re friends, we know what’s going on, it would be great!”

“You’d be okay with that?” He was being convinced by how _sure_ Remus sounded. 

“Yeah!” Remus grabbed his hand and pulled him up. “Let’s go find the nerd and get kissing!”

Neither of them noticed Dee Grace glaring at their conjoined hands as they left the cafeteria. 

~~

“I see him!”

“Where?”

“Coming down the hall towards us. Perfect timing!”

“Perfect for wh-mmf!”

Remus pressed Patton up against the lockers, cutting him off with a kiss. 

Patton reacted immediately, his hands threading through Remus’ hair. It felt so good, the warmth of Remus’ lips on his, the rough brush of his dyed-green hair, the feeling of Remus’ tongue asking for entrance… Patton began to open his mouth when rough hands pulled them apart, and Patton blinked to see both Dee and Logan towering over him and Remus, respectively. 

“It was consensual,” squeaked Remus, and when Logan turned to Patton, Patton nodded. 

Something ugly flashed across Logan’s face, and he stalked off. Remus snuck around Dee to give Patton a gentle once-over. 

“You a-okay, Pat?”

“Yeah, thank you, Ree. Are you?”

Remus grinned. “Never better! Wanna continue where we left off?”

“You can’t.” Dee cut in between them, face an angry grimace. He grabbed Remus by the arm and dragged him off, leaving Patton standing alone in the hallway, staring after them. 

He heard a snort of laughter from behind him, and turned to see Virgil watching from a short distance away. 

“What?”

“This whole matter is a clusterfuck. Go after Logan, it’s you he wants.”

“But Remus-“

“Dee’s just gonna snog some sense into him, I hope. Or at least seduce him. I don’t know or care. Just,” he paused, as if trying to pick a word. “Don’t do that again. Logan knows Remus is in love with you, and Logan is in love with you, and if you’re kissing Remus, then…”

“Wait, what?”

Virgil ducked his head. “Logan is my best friend. You’d better not break his heart.”

“Wait, _what?_ ”

The other boy walked off with a two-fingered salute, leaving Patton truly by himself. 

He wasn’t sure who he wanted to follow, Remus, or Logan. 

Maybe a good baking session would help him figure things out. 

~~ 

Baking absolutely did _not_ help him figure things out, but at least he was armed with cookies. 

And his first class of the day included both Remus and Logan. It was going to be a long day. 

~~

With an unusual stroke of luck, Patton managed to avoid both boys until lunch. Remus was waving at him from their usual table when he walked into the cafeteria, and Roman was there too so Patton couldn’t just pretend to _ignore_ Remus. 

“Hey kiddos! How’d it go yesterday, Roman?”

“I have a date! We’re going to Starbucks on Friday after school.” Roman blew a quick kiss across the tables, where Remy caught it and put it in his pocket. 

“You shoulda blown your load instead!”

“Not in public, Ree!” Patton slapped a hand over his mouth, realizing what he just said. 

“Sooooo you’d be down for that in private?”

Using a cookie to keep himself from saying anything else stupid sounded like a great idea.

“Dee Grace asked me on a date yesterday.” Remus’ tone was nonchalant. 

The cookie was not a good idea. Roman had to pound his back to keep Patton from choking. 

“I said no.” Remus turned to Patton, his expression turning serious. “I said no because-“

“I am in love with you, Patton Foster.” Logan’s smooth voice rang out from behind them. “And you as well, Remus Knight. I apologize for my actions yesterday, they were… Fueled by jealousy, for the both of you. And feelings that I had previously been unaware of. If the two of you are agreeable, I would like to take you both on a date.”

Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshit _HOLYSHIT_!

Patton glanced between Logan and Remus, who was staring at Logan with a strange look of realization. 

Holy shit. 

He bolted, leaving the box of cookies on the table. 

~~

Logan and Remus found him behind the school, hugging himself tightly. 

“Patton? May I kiss you?”

A nod was all Logan needed to lean in and press his lips to Patton’s. His lips were dry, and they tasted like strawberry chapstick. Patton took the initiative to lick at Logan’s lips, and was   
rewarded with an opened mouth. Logan tasted like raspberry jam and chocolate chip cookies and-

Patton pulled back, Logan chasing his lips a short way after. “Did you eat one of my cookies?”

“No!” Remus grinned at him from over Logan’s shoulder. “I did.” 

He sounded very smug about that. Patton did the math and- “Oh. Oh! Does that mean-“

“We’re all three of us boyfriends, if you want, Pattycake.”

“Indeed. It would be wonderful if you were to join us, Patton.”

All Patton needed to do was nod.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed!
> 
> I set up a Discord server! <https://discord.gg/gtWgvQ4>  
> Join me to talk about my writing and stuff!
> 
> Find more on tumblr @we-are-fam-ily


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